Several years ago I was looking at an article about respect. It said something very important which I have never forgotten. If you don’t teach respect, expect respect and model respect yourself, how will your child learn it?
It is a very good point. I have found myself at times feeling frustrated and losing my cool resulting in me screaming at my daughter when I felt pushed to the limit. I realize that by screaming I was teaching my daughter exactly what I hated most, disrespect.
Your children will take their cues from you. Quite simply, if children are around respectful adults, they will be more likely to show respect, however, when they are around disrespectful adults, they will more likely to show disrespectful behavior. Cursing, grabbing, yelling, using sarcasm and shouting over ! Your children will eventually express themselves as you do, but understand it takes years of effective teaching to refine those skills. When you speak respectfully to your children, they learn to be respectful. And if you speak with disrespect, they will learn that just as well.
Here are 10 Parenting Tips for Curbing Disrespect and Teaching Respect:
(1) Expect it: When your set your expectations to be reasonably high, children will rise to the occasion.
(2) Model it: If you want them to do it, you also have to do it too.
(3) Discuss it: When you see other children using disrespectful or respectful language or behavior, point it out and discuss with it your children.
(4) Acknowledge it: Don’t just let things go! Be sure to notice and tell your children when they show respectful behavior and make sure to call them on any disrespectful behavior as well!
(5)Teach it: Children need you to give them the tools they need to show you respect.
(6) Correct it: Be firm, direct and strong when teaching respect to your children. Remember that you need to be respectful yourself while correcting their behavior.
(8) Reinforce it: Reminding your children of their good decisions and they will remember how it felt, the praise they received, and overall the experience of being respectful.
(9) Understand it: Your children are learning and growing. Sometimes behavioral decisions and word choices are made because they do not have the exact or correct words or behavior to relay ” I’m frustrated”,“I’m angry,” or “I’m tired.”
(10) Reward it: Respectful behavior should be something that children want to do without a lot of extravagant rewards. Rewards such as recognition, praise, privileges and extra responsibility are good to associate with the respectful behavior you see in your child.
Teaching your child respect takes time, patience, and a willingness to do as you teach. Time isn’t everything. It takes years to rear a respectful child and only moments to fill one with disrespect and anger.
Hope this is of interest to you.